that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
