I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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