Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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