btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
