She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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