Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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