If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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