Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
