I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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