Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
