Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
