why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
