I should be sponsored by Trojan
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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