The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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