Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
