Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
