girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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