I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
