Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
