Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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