You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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