my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize