Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I am mentally ready for anal.
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