That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
