seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm experimenting with sincerity
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
