I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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