It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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