There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
