Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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