She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
