What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
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