And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
