Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
