i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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