is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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