Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
