I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
