we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
