Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
