Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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