Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
