so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
