Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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