The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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