Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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