he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
