And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
