He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
