Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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