Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
