at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
