Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
