covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
