dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I believe in your delicious
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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