69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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