i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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