were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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