you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
smell my finger.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
