i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
