just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize