She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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