His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
