Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i think i just lost a toe
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
