Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
last night I used snow as a chaser
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
