I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
