He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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