R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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