Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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